Owning it

In April and May, I submitted my short story Papier Mâché to Tokyo Writers Workshop in two halves, since it was over the word limit for a single submission. I am thankful to all of the participants for their thoughtful comments on my work. Many of them had not submitted anything themselves, so we were not even trading feedback; these were simple gifts of time and effort. I went through all of the comments in detail. They seemed to disagree on almost every aspect of the story and how I should best deal with it. I made some changes, but nothing as drastic as some commenters had suggested. This felt somehow stubborn, as I have long believed that if a reader has something to say, I should be open to their opinions and question the words I’ve written.

I found this time, though, that after careful consideration of the alternatives, many of my words were exactly what I wanted to say. The more drastic feedback for Papier Mâché would have lost the message I wanted the story to tell. Some also would have changed the voice, which I like. So with confidence I am owning the story.

I am having very similar realizations as I go through the novels I am currently editing (novels 3 and 4): I like much of the content and the major rewrites I had anticipated are not turning out to be so drastic. What both novels are still missing, though, is the careful polishing that takes so much time. That’s what I truly want to own.

Approaching a major rewrite

My first two novels, Under Shōko’s Bed and Neyuki, are waiting on editor feedback.  This has left me free to either work on one of my other novels or jump into something fresh.  I have been doing so much editing that I want to break out and start a new piece, but I also feel the weight of those other novels, so that remains my focus for now.  There is good content in each of the three, but they need major reworking.  I had been having a terrible time trying to lose myself in the work, and I finally realized it was because I had never done that sort of thing.  I have done big work on the first two novels, but I never had to reform them completely.  

For the first of the novels to reform, I chose a still untitled work that for now I simply call “Novel4.”  I wrote it a year ago as I was waiting for my editor to get to Under Shōko’s Bed.  In the time since then, two editors have been through Shōko, and the learning from those edits colors my reading of Novel4.  So many things I did not recognize as problems a year ago now jump out at me.  I have also grown through Tokyo Writers Workshop.  There are so many viewpoints and what I learn each month from the group is all fresh in my mind, especially recognition of my weaknesses.  Also, I am reading more.  I have mentioned before that reading has never been easy for me.  I find as I read now, though, I notice more what the writer is doing.  I see writers taking chances and doing things differently than I would have expected.  All this teaches me as well.

The big problem with Novel4 is that it needs to lose an entire character, even though she was the driver of major twists in the plot.  Re-plotting the novel was being a chore, when writing is supposed to be fun.  So I decided to stop pushing myself to have everything decided in advance.  I love the wonder of the story coming to me as I go.  Granted, it can be dangerous.  You can write yourself into a corner—or do what I did and create a cringeworthy relationship between two characters that would make the reader abandon the novel.  I am on more solid ground now, though, than I was a year ago.  So I have an idea of where the novel is going, I have last year’s content as a framework, and I have my imagination as I write new relationships into the novel.  It gets more interesting and exciting by the day!  I just wish I had the time to work through it faster.

Tokyo Writers Workshop

On Sunday afternoon, I attended Tokyo Writers Workshop (TWW). In one form or another, it has been meeting for over thirty years and is a wonderfully eclectic group of writers. We meet once a month to critique each other’s work.  I submitted chapter 1 of Neyuki, and I am thankful for the valuable feedback I received.  I also had the chance to hear others’ comments for the various submissions.  My first impression was that my responses were woefully lacking in detail and I must up my game if I want to be a contributing member of the group.  It was also fascinating to see the submissions through others’ eyes.  Things I had dismissed lightly were discussed in the context of genres of fiction with which I was unfamiliar, and I learned that some I thought were “out there” were actually mainstream.  Again my too thin reading experience came back to bite me.  I will look at future submissions with kinder, more supportive eyes.

Regarding Neyuki, there was no real consensus in the group as to what changes were necessary, although many thought the chapter needed to move faster.  As a result, I moved some descriptions of the setting into the next chapter.  I also added more tension to the scene where Will hides the body.  Overall, the pacing is better than before. Still, it would move even faster if I cut it by 20 percent. That is this weekend’s task.

There were also questions about why a good man would move his colleague’s corpse rather than just call the police, so I heightened Will’s fear of involvement with the Japanese police and strengthened the logic he follows.  I also set up his logical thought process, which struck some as cold, as an escape Will turns to when reality is too awful and terrifying to countenance.

The one thing on which everyone seemed to agree was the first chapter effectively hooks the reader.  That was my biggest question.  I wish I could have gotten everyone’s feedback on the entire novel.  To submit it piece by piece to the group would take most of two years, and I hope to publish it long before that.  I can, though, submit the pieces that worry me.  There will be plenty of time for those before publication.