The idea: Under Shōko's Bed

I am the first to admit that Under Shōko’s Bed is an odd tale.  If the story is charming at all, I think the oddity is part of the charm, though.  The germ of the story came on a visit to a dear friend of mine.  (She is also the one who chose the name of the main female character, Shōko Kawasaki.)  I had been suffering on and off with depression for years, and when it was time to leave the friend who so buoyed my spirits and go back to my day-to-day routine, I told her that I wished I could remain a little longer, that I would be happy just to stay under her bed.  She laughed, which always lifts my heart, and I said goodbye and went home—and started ruminating.  I had begun a novel before, but lost the motivation when I changed jobs and felt no more need to push out creatively to compensate for frustration in my work.  But the idea of someone who is broken enough to actually carry through on my suggestion, to be so shattered that he would curl up under a friend’s bed, stuck in my imagination.  I have known despair.  I have wished I was dead, unable to stand the incessant pain of knowing my entire life would amount to nothing.  I could imagine a person acting that mentally ill, because I was very nearly that bad off.

So in the periods when I wasn’t depressed, I wrote.  I wish I could say that the writing is what healed me.  It certainly helped, but what banished the depression completely two and a half years ago was finding the right doctor and then the correct combination of medications.  Now the depression is gone, although not the daily struggle, so I continue to write.  The healing goes on with each little success, but more than that, I simply enjoy getting the stories out of my head, turning them into words.  Hopefully, those words will spark others’ imaginations too.

Finally, if the character’s depression in Under Shōko’s Bed rings all too true, you have my deepest sympathy.  Just know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  I overcame depression and I believe that you can too.  It’s worth trying—it truly is—even if just for today.