Owning it

In April and May, I submitted my short story Papier Mâché to Tokyo Writers Workshop in two halves, since it was over the word limit for a single submission. I am thankful to all of the participants for their thoughtful comments on my work. Many of them had not submitted anything themselves, so we were not even trading feedback; these were simple gifts of time and effort. I went through all of the comments in detail. They seemed to disagree on almost every aspect of the story and how I should best deal with it. I made some changes, but nothing as drastic as some commenters had suggested. This felt somehow stubborn, as I have long believed that if a reader has something to say, I should be open to their opinions and question the words I’ve written.

I found this time, though, that after careful consideration of the alternatives, many of my words were exactly what I wanted to say. The more drastic feedback for Papier Mâché would have lost the message I wanted the story to tell. Some also would have changed the voice, which I like. So with confidence I am owning the story.

I am having very similar realizations as I go through the novels I am currently editing (novels 3 and 4): I like much of the content and the major rewrites I had anticipated are not turning out to be so drastic. What both novels are still missing, though, is the careful polishing that takes so much time. That’s what I truly want to own.

Tokyo Writers Workshop

On Sunday afternoon, I attended Tokyo Writers Workshop (TWW). In one form or another, it has been meeting for over thirty years and is a wonderfully eclectic group of writers. We meet once a month to critique each other’s work.  I submitted chapter 1 of Neyuki, and I am thankful for the valuable feedback I received.  I also had the chance to hear others’ comments for the various submissions.  My first impression was that my responses were woefully lacking in detail and I must up my game if I want to be a contributing member of the group.  It was also fascinating to see the submissions through others’ eyes.  Things I had dismissed lightly were discussed in the context of genres of fiction with which I was unfamiliar, and I learned that some I thought were “out there” were actually mainstream.  Again my too thin reading experience came back to bite me.  I will look at future submissions with kinder, more supportive eyes.

Regarding Neyuki, there was no real consensus in the group as to what changes were necessary, although many thought the chapter needed to move faster.  As a result, I moved some descriptions of the setting into the next chapter.  I also added more tension to the scene where Will hides the body.  Overall, the pacing is better than before. Still, it would move even faster if I cut it by 20 percent. That is this weekend’s task.

There were also questions about why a good man would move his colleague’s corpse rather than just call the police, so I heightened Will’s fear of involvement with the Japanese police and strengthened the logic he follows.  I also set up his logical thought process, which struck some as cold, as an escape Will turns to when reality is too awful and terrifying to countenance.

The one thing on which everyone seemed to agree was the first chapter effectively hooks the reader.  That was my biggest question.  I wish I could have gotten everyone’s feedback on the entire novel.  To submit it piece by piece to the group would take most of two years, and I hope to publish it long before that.  I can, though, submit the pieces that worry me.  There will be plenty of time for those before publication.